ARIES (March 21 – April 20)
CLASSICAL PERIOD
Aries, dear one, you may be a bit intellectually and militarily egocentric, but with that, you manage to influence an entire continent. Lots of philosophy and ethics, but always think the outside world is barbaric and uncivilized, which is why you've gotten into so many wars with Gauls, Germans, and Britons. Monthly advice: pray to Ares, or was it Mars?
Taurus
Modern Age (April 21 – May 20)
Don't worry about Constantinople, you have all of America for what you want. Although you are quite patient, especially during transoceanic voyages, you need to look a bit at your materialistic and selfish side. Monthly advice: when you get nervous, don't behead anyone, instead provoke a new schism in the Church.
GEMINI
Copper Age (May 21 – June 20)
So optimistic that you can change history, so restless that you can bring social stratification. But don't worry, your social relationships extend from Anatolia to Iberia (Los Millares), passing through the paradisiacal beaches of Malta (Ggantija). Monthly advice: if you're feeling overwhelmed, sign up for a campaniform pottery workshop.
CANCER (June 21 – July 20)
Iron Age
Let me explain this to you... Dear Cancer, you're a bit bellicose, take it easy. Be careful about starting the Trojan War. You are innovative, creative and daring, so you keep changing the lives of everyone who comes across you. Monthly advice: hide your iron weapons; you never know when you might need them.
LEO (July 21 – August 20)
Late Middle Ages
Dear Leo, you are so dramatic that you've managed to have a reputation for being dark. Perhaps the Black Death, the Hundred Years' War, the Crusades and the Western Schism did some damage to your image, but don't worry, you're still king of the city, university, and bourgeoisie. Monthly advice: ask your friend Isabel la Cato for advice when signing a treaty.
VIRGO (August 21 – September 20)
Enlightenment
What were you going to be if not? Analytical, critical and objective. If you don't have proof, you won't take sides. Your rational mind makes you forget that you're human and that you have feelings. You like to revolutionize the neighborhood a lot, but be careful with "everything for the people, but without the people." Monthly advice: leave Descartes, Newton, and Voltaire behind, and go get a beer at Manolo's bar.
LIBRA (September 21 – October 20)
Neolithic
You thought that settling between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers would give you a more calm and practical life, but it didn't. You are quite reflective but don't have time for agriculture and livestock. You need more surpluses every day, and this is affecting your relationships with neighboring peoples. Monthly advice: go tame your dog; he's very charming and loyal.
SCORPIO (October 21 – November 20)
Bronze Age
You live in a constant war with yourself and your surroundings. Always holding a campaniform cup, not to drink water. Hanging out so much with the Sea Peoples you don't even know who you are anymore. The Motilla de Azuer is your favorite place. Monthly advice: stop building fortifications around you; you're your own greatest enemy.
SAGITTARIUS (November 21 – December 20)
PALEOLITHIC
Our restless and adventurous one takes a break from gathering. You're so positive that you give third chances to anyone, including Homo neanderthalensis. Your energy leads you to kill any beast you see. You love the attributes of the Venus of Willendorf, and you know it. Monthly advice: if you want to be more cosmopolitan, go to Atapuerca bar; the Homo antecessor is waiting for you.
CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 20)
Industrial Revolution
You're so distant that you've become a machine that never stops. If you don't rest, you pollute your surroundings. You are so ambitious that you transform the economy of an entire continent. Everything grows with you, even the proletariat. You're a great leader; that's why your friends are bourgeois. Monthly advice: slow down the railroad; you'll end up derailing.
AQUARIUS (January 21 – February 20)
20th Century
You're the alternative, independent and sociable of the family, so they keep you at a distance even though everyone appreciates you very much. You are explosive, eccentric and somewhat intolerant; look what happened in 14, 36, 39, 50, 65, and so on to infinity. But that doesn't take away from your creativity and futurism; with cubism and expressionism, you show it off. Monthly advice: you have many environmental problems, go cruising on the Titanic.
PISCES (February 21 – March 20)
High Middle Ages
My dear Pisces, you're so spiritual that you never stop building churches wherever you go. That's why they are humble; it's because you're poor. You need self-control; you're surrounded by Vikings, Hungarians, Slavs, and Muslims, and you have to deal with them. May Otto I and Charlemagne protect you. Monthly advice: learn Romance languages; you never know when you'll need them.
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